there’s more to it. there are always more layers and we can learn from every aspect, not only what’s obvious or most accepted, ambitious, daring, or labeled as courageous.
yes, it takes courage to face the “sharp pains” of self-discovery, rather than willingly suffering the numbness of unconscious living. decisions define and mark our every path, our every option, our every motivation and our every opportunity.
but it is also valid and just as courageous to exist in the numb space and emptiness, to flesh it out fully, or maybe to never return. ours is to hold space, not to conform it.
the most brutal and violent ideas revolve around what living a life means; what living a full, or successful, or fulfilling life means. it is utterly destructive to the nature of faith, trust, love, expansion, presence and authenticity to corral the spirit into codified and measured and predictable boundaries. yes, these all serve us in practical ways, obviously. there is a science behind everything we can achieve. have at it.
but the art of it is the immeasurable, unpredictable, intrinsic, and eternal. fulfilment is a feeling, emotional thing, and for the most part, we borrow convoluted and distorted ideas of this most basic of human needs, and suffer a great deal through and by it.
we tend to judge those who aren’t getting it, or aren’t making progress, or aren’t strong enough to fit into some arbitrary paradigms that we ourselves also struggle with, all the time. we suffer a great deal in our society through entitlement, superficiality, greed, stupidity, instant gratification, and armchair passive-aggressive cowardice. we want the vegan version of purposeful existence, shunning the meat that holds not only the blood but the substance.
get dirty. get messy. get bruised. get over yourself.
comparison is useful, primarily as a reminder of our process and personal paths to discovery. competition is useful, if we use it to embolden our efforts and to push ourselves into the unfamiliar and expansive, if it is our true intention to break free of our own devices. but blanket statements and spiritual quips have a way of weighing down an inherent purity and nakedness that is beyond mental boundaries.
our challenge is to recognize that judgment of another reflects a belief within us, paints the representation within established parameters, and greys out an otherwise rainbow of opportunities. we resort to ego-tripping and ego-stroking to deflect, project, and look to lay claim to our own inadequacies, should we have awareness and presence enough to see it in the moment.
and judgment of ourselves is always an opportunity to crack it open just a little bit more. this place is the epitome of transience and flow. we choose when and how to plug the sink or to turn our boats sideways or against the stream. it affords us a pause and a breath to look at the picture just a split second longer – which can end up experienced as any variation of the passage of time one can imagine…minutes, hours, lifetimes, or ages.
nothing here is immutable, save the essence of what it all is. we can write all the laws we want, but one meteor would render them moot and laughably irrelevant. there is a greater story here we always push aside or suppress, and it exists beyond clumsy language and control mechanisms.
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