Yes, if you keep doing what you are doing, because you believe what you believe, things will occasionally change, a little, but mostly, they’ll remain the same.
Sure, you’ll kick your own butt once in a while and engage in a flurry of activity and accomplishments, but you’ll quickly tire and lose momentum. You’ll invent excuses (weak, bullshit ones), you’ll give up or run away… You’ll hide behind responsibilities and everyday obligations, and struggle through.
Next, the inevitable barriers will surface: you need money to make money; someone else beat me to it; when I can live in a better home, have a studio, have a workshop; when I finally have some time to myself; you can’t force art or creativity; I need to take some courses first; I don’t know what my purpose/passion/mission is…
You might as well get stupid drunk and go out tipping cows; that blocked-up, untapped, stagnated energy seeks an outlet! Odds are, you’ll squander it in harmful or empty ways. Or worse, your body will accumulate it; our energy centers are subject to thoughts, beliefs, emotions and trauma. Over time, biochemical or physiological dysfunction and ill-health are inevitable. You’ll then have legitimate excuses as health concerns move to the forefront. Doctors will prescribe pills or surgery. Perhaps you’ll seek natural or holistic treatment options. Yet you’ll always be behind the eight ball, always worried it’ll get worse — but it gives you a focus; it provides you with a reason to be disciplined and to actively change your lifestyle and routine.
If and once it’s bad enough to threaten your mortality, maybe now you’ll feel powerfully motivated to get down to business, for your days may be increasingly numbered. Weren’t they before? Regardless, you’re no longer concerned about what anybody thinks, or what they’ve achieved in the past. You have nothing to lose… and it matters not if you fail.
Why must it come to this before you really go for it? It doesn’t matter what your challenge or disability is — real or imagined! All can be overcome, accommodated, healed, or adapted to. You’re still here.
You have within every cell of your being information and coding and genetics that have evolved, mutated, emerged, adapted and thrived over billions of years; who and what we are today is perfectly suited to this earth, at this time and space and dimension.
So own it.
Look again. Awaken. Life will verify and validate what you believe — and what you deem to be possible. But you don’t know what you don’t know. Be willing to question everything.
Less vanity and arrogance, more surrender, trust, vulnerability and courage.
Sadness is a clue. Depression, hopelessness, and anger, are all clues. You’re primed for expansion. Talk to someone. Journal it all out. Eyes open!
Solvitur ambulando