My parents were never able to provide the emotional support or conscious partnership that each required from the other. They valued things differently. They certainly communicated in different love languages. They were never able to express these concerns. They had children, so they pushed through — but this, too, in my opinion, was a mistake. They came from a different generation, and from a different culture, one marked by struggle, endurance, perseverance, self-sacrifice, and, unfortunately, a deep-seated quiet desperation.
Tag: healing
In my experience as a film and video editor, one of the most common challenges is having enough raw content to create something of substance, flow, and meaning. So much is decided in fractions of a second, and often in only one or two frames, that we can quickly run out of useful material. Editing is manipulation. Editing alters the pacing, meaning, theme, and structure, as well as the altering eye.
Money is a difficult subject. It’s not real, but our entire world revolves around it. To protect it, the ultra-rich will fight or start a war. The average person will work between 20 and 110 hours per week to earn it. The homeless will beg for it. Of course, there are varying degrees in between. The concept exemplifies a fundament that underpins much of our strange reality: giving value, influence, and power to fleeting thoughts, feelings, and objects.
I used to think I would never be worthy of a worthy partner in life unless I made something of myself. Though I know where that came from, I’m still not entirely sure what it means. These tenacious weeds are something we all have in our gardens, don’t we? What I do know is that it is not only a story but also a spiritual and emotional prison, never mind a self-imposed penance for an imagined crime. Though it takes time for the scars of shame to fade, I’m grateful that awareness has engendered the slow but cumulative healing process.
Outside influences continue to exist while we work to realign with our inner compass. Noise can be persistent, and some of the outdated ideas we’ve adopted will resurface and irritate or infuriate a creative spirit. It is in these moments that we determine whether we are working from passion or anger.