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Tag: relationships

Anger

I’m angry. I’m angry because I love you, and care about your future — rather, our collective future and our wellbeing — and I feel powerless to protect you from those strange, delusional few who are out there: those whose aim is to foment and to feed off your fears, your need for emotional expression and creative satiety, your need to be seen, to be held, and to belong…to control your every move, to make you believe you’re fragile and weak, and then to profit from your self-induced illnesses.

I’m angry because I don’t know if there’s anything I can do about it.

Touchstone

Today I am missing real connection. As the thought crosses my awareness, I’m astonished to consider that maybe I haven’t really had such a feeling or experience since I was maybe three or four years old.

So, what happened?

Chapter Endings

For a long time, I used to be calculating with how and when I would give or share my love, energy and attention. “What about my needs?” would inevitably creep in to my otherwise genuinely generous state of mind, degrading and demoting a caring presence into a transaction. “This is a one-way relationship…me to them. It’s all about them.” is another frequent scarcity-based belief, a condition, a program I’ve learned is not my own. I borrowed it at some point, and it has poisoned my process, my beingness, my authenticity in critical moments.

Just Friends

I’ve been single for more years in this life than I’ve been attached. There are probably a number of reasons. The unfortunate side-effect, however, is that I’ve not made many friends who are women; I’ve always found it difficult to be “just friends” with a woman, especially if they’re attractive to me. This, of course, is exacerbated by my perpetual bachelorhood. Yet, as ever, there’s a lesson in all of this.