Today I am missing real connection. As the thought crosses my awareness, I’m astonished to consider that maybe I haven’t really had such a feeling or experience since I was maybe three or four years old.
So, what happened?
Tag: relationships
We can waste an awful lot of time, energy and resources going through and abiding by cyclical mental processes, based almost entirely on our imagination.
For a long time, I used to be calculating with how and when I would give or share my love, energy and attention. “What about my needs?” would inevitably creep in to my otherwise genuinely generous state of mind, degrading and demoting a caring presence into a transaction. “This is a one-way relationship…me to them. It’s all about them.” is another frequent scarcity-based belief, a condition, a program I’ve learned is not my own. I borrowed it at some point, and it has poisoned my process, my beingness, my authenticity in critical moments.
I’ve been single for more years in this life than I’ve been attached. There are probably many reasons. The unfortunate side effect, however, is that I’ve not made many friends who are women; I’ve always found it difficult to be “just friends” with a woman, especially if they’re attractive to me. This, of course, is exacerbated by my perpetual bachelorhood. Yet, as ever, there’s a lesson in all of this.
You cannot wait to start living your best, most inspired life. Waiting to start exercising or cleaning your house on a regular basis, flossing your teeth, pursuing that PhD, or setting aside a percentage of your income for something, invariably defers other things that you will not believe are related to — or connected to — both your ordinary and ambitious goals.
How you do anything is how you do everything. Take a look at your life and you’ll realize how true this statement is.