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The Gift of Unfulfilled Desire

Unfulfilled passion — whether in romance, life, or personal aspirations — can be both painful and transformative, as it points us toward growth, resilience, and the need for deeper meaning. Struggle and dissatisfaction act as catalysts for renewal and the rekindling of our intrinsic drive for life.

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Most of us have probably experienced — or are currently dealing with — the pangs of an unfulfilled romance: with life, a partner, or an elusive, dreamy fantasy.

Passion is the force that drives us. Those who dive in, grab the rope, pull themselves to the surface, and learn to waterski on the waves truly live life to the fullest. Others — perhaps the majority — dabble, suppress, ignore, or look away, swimming amid distractions and the busyness of shallow waters to avoid the aches, pains, frustrations, and disappointments that come with trying, failing, and trying again.

Stumbling is simply part of the art of pursuing and defining passion, isn’t it? It is through struggle that we discern our true values, strengthen our muscles, and develop resilience — a necessary trait for living in this realm.

There’s an eternal fire beneath the physical matter of things. Everything in our reality is made of energetic constructs bound by timeless consciousness. Stagnation is impossible in our universe; any attempt to subvert, compress, or stifle the flow of life will inevitably lead to (perceived) negative outcomes. These may manifest in our bodies or in surprising ways along our paths, reminding us that life demands expansion. Life is change.

So much happens outside our awareness that who we are today might not even recognize our past selves from just a year ago. In such an ever-changing world, we may struggle to find meaning and purpose, while materialistic influences grow inadequate and lose significance.

And so, we invite — or unwittingly produce — events and circumstances to engage in something meaningful. We’re desperate to feel something, acting unconsciously to coax that intrinsic passion to surface and dispel the energy of discontentment.

Unfortunately, drama often becomes a self-inflicted means of avoiding the deeper issues we hesitate to confront. When we’re left disappointed, disillusioned, hurt, taken advantage of, or resentful, that fire within us diminishes, and a part of us retreats into the shadows. By our own design, we may become the perpetual victim.

We often lean toward wanting or needing, as a quiet act of desperation. When it becomes a habit, it imposes a downward spiral of self-sabotage. But it doesn’t have to be this way. There are always positives and negatives. We are conditioned to focus on the negative — our brains are, in fact, wired for it — because it’s a familiar and protective response. But focusing on the positive requires deliberate and consistent effort, offering greater rewards and deeper satisfaction in the long run.

Feeling unfulfilled is wonderful! It’s only a feeling — a barometer. It shows us that there’s more to the picture, or that we’re missing or ignoring something important, something necessary to transmute this discontent into useful, generative creative power. This is a gift, and an opportunity to rekindle the eternal flame and unveil, once again, our genuine passion for life.

When viewed through the lens of gratitude, that sense of lack — that unfulfilled romance — often rooted in past experiences or imperfect memories, can be repurposed to better serve us. Observing the feeling as a fleeting indicator allows us to embrace the wisdom each circumstance offers and burn away self-imposed illusions.

Love your life.

self” from the Fleshwound album