In a world that tells us to never settle, we are left standing on the edge of an endless tug-of-war between independence and connection. We strive for authenticity, yet find ourselves lost in a web of self-imposed isolation, afraid to need, afraid to want, afraid to be seen. The journey of navigating our own desires, and the desire for another, is not just a personal quest — it is a reflection of the struggle within and around us all.
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They say don’t settle; it’s better to be alone than to compromise. There is truth in that, and weight.
But in the process of not settling, we can become unsettled, isolationist. We put the burden on ourselves to discern emotional wisdom without objectivity. As humans, we are interdependent, social, energetic, and spiritual beings. We are feeling entities who need feedback.
Healing, growth, self-knowing, and love always find their outlets. These often manifest as overcompensation — using what (or who) is convenient to avoid pain. For the sensitive, this means retreating into our own reality bubbles, creating a xenophobic landscape.
We don’t want to want, nor need… anyone. Our culture of “I am my own person” challenges traditional partnership, and our social paradigms around relationships have evolved accordingly. This has its benefits, but it has also bred interpersonal chaos.
There seems to be a lack of emotional maturity in coupling. Perhaps it’s unresolved childhood trauma, ineffective parenting, underdeveloped personalities, unclear boundaries, or generations of emotional dysfunction carried forward.
Our Western world is rife with identity crises. We are uncertain about social status, personal purpose, spirituality, sexuality, political progress, and social equality. As a result, we don’t know what we truly want from a partner — or even for ourselves.
And when something flickers that resonates with our heart, all the emotional barriers we’ve built cause us to distrust it.
The struggle for validation, individuality, and sovereignty mirrors both our inner world and the collective. What we see “out there” can help us decode what’s going on “in here.”
It’s easy to stay within our self-defined, superficial safety nets. But life is defined by expansion, inquiry, experimentation, and exploration — within and without. Our hearts defy social convention; they demand truth, authenticity, character, and vulnerability. “Truth” is the antithesis of stagnation, and it defines its scope through courageous living. It may require scraped knees, bruised egos, and hard-earned humility.
It will require the occasional broken heart.
It’s OK to hurt, to feel deeply, to heal — to trust, take risks, and be hurt again.
It’s OK to love — unsettlingly.
Solvitur ambulando