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The Self We Sacrifice: On Conformity

External pressures often dictate our choices, so it’s easy to lose sight of who we truly are. A lack of self-awareness leads to conformity, while embracing our authentic selves is essential for living a meaningful and fulfilled life.

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There’s a saying: If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.

Many of us experience this — or a variation of it — often pretending to be OK with it, especially in our relationships. The most debilitating of these relationships is often the one we have with ourselves:

  • If you don’t stand up for yourself, you’ll fall to your knees for anyone.
  • If you don’t know who you are, you’ll be told who to be.
  • If you don’t stand for something, you stand for nothing; you don’t count.
  • If you don’t have confidence, you’ll be intimidated by strength.
  • If you don’t make a commitment, you’ll waffle in perpetual indecision.
  • If you don’t find a purpose, you’ll never find meaning.

As we can see, there’s a lot at stake — energetically, spiritually, mentally, and physically. How often do we use strategies, fallbacks, and limitations to fit in or feel good? How often do we settle for less than the ideal just to feel wanted? How often do we sell out for profit? How often do we rely on the passionate words of others rather than the truth in our hearts? How often do we wear masks, speaking pleasantries to seem polite, correct, accepted, or loved?

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There is a pervasive superficiality in our culture that can leave a bad taste in one’s mouth. It provokes us toward corrosive, self-defeating behaviors like deflecting, projecting, shaming, and gossiping. To cope with our perceived insignificance and rampant insecurity, we often hide behind these limiting social behaviors.

Sadly, these postures are joy-destroying and soul-sucking, keeping our attitudes hovering somewhere between normal and numb. If that’s not good enough for you, it might be time to reconsider your motivations — but resist the urge to engage in self-reproach or judgment.

Live, listen, and learn:

  • We compromise too much to belong.
  • We suppress too much to feel safe.
  • We defend too much to be vulnerable.

We forget that being and living from our true selves is what defines, attracts, and manifests that which resonates with us in the most authentic way.

In other words, our reality reflects who we truly are — not what we want to be or pretend to be.

Every moment, in every circumstance, we have a new opportunity to make a better, more aligned, and simpler choice — even though it is rarely the easiest.

Nobody wants to be lonely, but no one is truly alone. Close your eyes and breathe into your heart. You will remember that you are safe. You are this — and so much more. You are enough. You are important. You are essential to this earthly dance. You are an entirely original song, as beautiful as the wind and as playful as time.

You… be you.

Veritas tua te liberabit

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Fleshwound” from the album of the same name…