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What we want is not what we really want.

We’re hardwired for love and belonging. We want to be seen. We may try to isolate ourselves to escape or avoid being hurt; lose ourselves in family, career, or worship — because we’ve falsely attached our worth to our doings — but nothing ever truly flows in a natural and fulfilling way if we disregard our inherent truth. Enter stagnation, suffering and struggle.

We live in a culture that has commodified and made transactional love, romance, and intimate relating. It’s all conditional, and therefore, superficial. Trust and friendship take time.

Unfulfilled, unacknowledged, unmet needs from our earliest years will plague us until we recognize them and close the gap. We’re in the midst of the greatest shake-up emotionally, spiritually, and ideologically. There’s little doubt that in today’s age of transparency and information, it’s all about re-integration of age-old fragmentation, not continued projection, rejection, deflection, and emotional suppression.

Everybody hurts. It hones our senses and sensemaking.

Everybody loves. It acknowledges our heart, and life’s meaning.

When we search for love, we invite all variety of hurt. When we seek to heal hurt, we invite all variety of love.

We have any and all manner of tools with which to effect transmutation and renewed harmony. We need to allow for the moments and pauses and spaces between… to remember.

We want connection — to all aspects of self; to all aspects of the seemingly extrinsic. We want to settle disparity and ceaseless internal tugs-of-war.

We want… Not to want.

Solvitur ambulando