My parents were never really able to be the emotional support, or the conscious partner, that each needed from the other.
They valued different things. They certainly spoke different love languages. They were never able to communicate these issues. They had children, so they powered through — but this too, was a mistake. They came from a different generation, one that was defined by struggle, enduring, persisting, self-sacrifice, and unfortunately, a deep-seated quiet desperation.
It took me years to discern the fragmented pieces of this tumult I had identified with and had carried along the journey as my truth, until it was not. There was plenty of blame, until there was not. There was plenty of guilt, and now there is not. There was plenty of shame, now there is far less. Eventually, we all find our balancing point; our spiritual and existential locus.
I got to know my parents individually when they split. It was a revelation. I final got to understand some of their childhood challenges, and to connect the dots in their stories. It shed light on their personal, and thus, relationship struggles. They didn’t really have the tools we have grown up with nowadays, nor the space to hold for each other. These are not excuses, but grounds for empathic understanding. Live, learn, listen . . .
This place, this reality, demands we assume responsibility for our story; it’s the only way through the noise into the ease, grace, and joys that underline the passage. It’s awareness. It’s conscious sensitivity. It’s opening our hearts, and our eyes.
We, each and every one of us, are a singular needle that rests upon the vinyl record of life. It’s this divine design that reverberates our music out into this world. Occasionally, we encounter scratches, and skips, repetitions, and even transient temporal distortions, but the song always carries on. It should thus be empowering to know that no thing is forever, and that we take from this journey only the vibrations of music.
Demand, in this context, simple means hey, listen up. You, and all of this, are not here for long, remember? To own your story is to embrace gratitude. To embrace gratitude, is to turn up the vibrancy, vividness, and volume of your story.
Love your life,
tb