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Andrew Seaman - Unsplash

Owning the Story

Audio Version (music by Sergii Pavkin)

My parents were never able to provide the emotional support or conscious partnership that each required from the other. They valued things differently. They certainly communicated in different love languages. They were never able to express these concerns. They had children, so they pushed through — but this, too, in my opinion, was a mistake. They came from a different generation, and from a different culture, one marked by struggle, endurance, perseverance, self-sacrifice, and, unfortunately, a deep-seated quiet desperation.

It took me years to discern the fragmented pieces of this turmoil I had identified with. I had carried it all along the journey as a truth, until it was not. There was plenty of blame, until there was not. There was plenty of guilt, and now there is not. There was plenty of shame; now there is far less. We all eventually reach a point of balance, our spiritual and existential locus.

When my parents separated, I got to know them as individuals. It was a revelation. I was finally able to understand some of their childhood challenges and to connect the dots in their stories. It shed light on their personal, and consequently, relationship, difficulties. They lacked the tools we have today, as well as the space to hold for one another. These are not excuses, but rather reasons for empathic understanding. Live, learn, and listen.

This place, this reality, demands us to take responsibility for our story; it is the only way through the noise to the ease, grace, and joys that underline the passage. It’s called awareness. It is conscious sensitivity. It’s opening our hearts and our eyes.

We, each one of us, are a single needle on the vinyl record of life. It is this divine design that transmits our music out into the world. We occasionally hear scratches, skips, repetitions, and even transient temporal distortions, but the song always goes on. It should be empowering to know that nothing lasts forever and that all we take away from this journey are the vibrations of our music.

Owning your story means embracing gratitude. To embrace gratitude means to amp up the vibrancy, vividness, and volume of your story.

Love your life.

Sensations” from Wander