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on hold

i’ve often made the mistake of letting the day to day worries and anxieties paralyze the process of creativity and preparation. and then ten years have passed.

we often get into the reactionary, passive mindset: if this happens, then i’ll be able or ready to do that. for example: once i have some money in the bank, and stability, then i will be able to relax into my passion projects and get things moving toward completion… or think about starting a family, or, whatever.

as we know, this isn’t how life works. it’s just a program (one of a myriad) offered somewhere down the line that keeps us spinning our wheels and going nowhere. it’s an idea that negates the natural flow of things, and puts massive conditions on all we think we can, or want to, or should do.

it creates an energetic mess, and usually, stagnation…which of course invites the negative spirals and then we’re in perpetual recovery mode, never mind planning and making mode.

these conditions also attract to us all sorts of fragments and random forays into tangents and distractions, bouncing around homes, or relationships, careers, and other life events. and worse, we’re only half-invested in any of it, because in the back of our minds, is that still-operating “if this, then that” paradigm.

as we drift away from our centers, from our callings, from our natural inclinations and genuine interests, we settle for the ideas and resources and opportunities introduced by external interests, as we’ve lost connection to our inbuilt compasses.

we will make do. we will feign interest, or overcompensate, and dive headlong into anything we can get a quick hit from, craving something deeper, more substantial, and desperately seek fulfilment in all the wrong places.

there is much in our culture that drags us either to the past (lest we forget) or into the future (lest we remember). programs and conditionings rife with misguided, maligned intent and oversimplification of the depth and breadth of the potentiality of an actualized human experience.

you’ve got to follow through in the moment. we have mere seconds, often, when the impulse is fresh, when the channel is open, when the stars align and when we must be present with the “it” of the creation that beckons our immediate and complete presence and focus.

in life, we benefit most from riding the waves from inception, or conception to fruition…and all the adventures and journeys invited along the way. to thrive, and feel alive, we can’t carry layers of false pretense and suffer pleasantries.

we may lie to others and work to convince the world of our values, worth, accomplishments, and vain importance, but we can’t bullshit our selves. the heart always knows, and it will outlast you, and your superficial nonsense.

the core of us, the higher self, the truth in the hidden places, does not judge. what’s truly conscious is beyond tempermental and transient limits. and it is always ready to engage.

there’s a reason it’s known as “the power of now”. the words, as ever, hardly do it justice.

dive in.

solvitur ambulando

© 2018 Trance Blackman

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Published in Journal Entries