they say don’t settle; it’s better to be alone than to compromise. there is truth in that, and there is weight.
in the process of not settling, we can become unsettled, and isolationist. we also put it upon our own self to discern emotional wisdom without an essential objectivity. humans are interdependent, social, energetic, spiritual individuals. we are feeling entities, and physical expressionists. we need feedback.
we will always find outlets for the messy process of healing, growth, self-knowing, and love. they tend to manifest as overcompensation using what’s (who’s) convenient or available; we want to avoid hurt and pain, and if we are the sensitive type, this usually means closing in and collapsing into our reality bubbles. it inherently defines a bit of a xenophobic landscape.
we don’t want to want, nor need… anyone. our culture of “i am my own person” flies in the face of traditional notions of partnership, and our paradigms around relationship have evolved to suit.
there does, however, seem to be a lack of emotional maturity in coupling. perhaps it’s still a matter of childhood trauma; ineffective parenting from carried-forward ignorance; underdeveloped personalities; unclear or unknown boundaries, or a host of emotional dysfunction through generations of non-integrated, non-realized, incomplete egocentricities.
our Western world is fraught with identity crises. we exist in an aura of uncertainty as to social status, purpose, spirituality, sexuality, progress and equality. of course we don’t have a clue what we truly desire from a running mate! we don’t know what we want for and from ourselves!
and when we do occasionally bump into a flicker of what resonates with our heart, all that hard work done to build up barriers and safe spaces causes us to distrust it. very nice…
it’s funny how the struggle for validation, individuality and sovereignty of spirit reflects in the microcosm and in the collective at large. maybe what we see “out there” should help us decode and decipher what’s going on “in here”?
it’s relatively easy to maintain a comfort zone within our self-imposed, self-defined, superficial safety nets. there’s a song out there that sings about being comfortably numb…
but life is defined by expansion, inquiry, experimentation, exploration – within and without. our heart defies convention and conformity; it demands truth, authenticity, character; vulnerability. “truth” is of course the antithesis of stagnation, and will clarify its scope through the living of life, courageously. it may require scraped knees, cut fingers, bruised egos, and humility.
it will require the occasional broken heart…
it’s okay to hurt. it’s okay to feel, enormously. it’s okay to heal. it’s okay to trust, take risks, be hurt again.
it’s okay to love, unsettlingly.