Living in a culture that is rife with trauma, we’re not too keen on experiencing more and different kinds of pain, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Thus, we’re too often in the frame of mind that reaches for the broad, soaked paintbrush that allows us to dismiss someone or something based on what may only be a minor trait or concern—perhaps because we were triggered by something that isn’t supposed to bother us anymore.
Relationships of any real depth or connection take time and—given a greater context and the cumulative maturation of experience—we may find that a fine-tipped brush is more effective. We can use it to fill in the shades or refine the edges—defining the character, not the entire painting that is a personality or situation.
There’s a tendency in our society to want to run away from fear—to protect ourselves from the pain, and/or name it based on past experience—rather than sit with it, to unravel it, and to grow through it. Nothing is ever resolved by avoiding, suppressing, or turning away. It’s only deferred.