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deliberate invention

we really are magnificent, multifaceted creators. even when we’re least aware of it, the world around us is shaped by such subtleties that only the truly alert and aware could notice, usually much after the fact.

psychologically speaking, as adults we can be carrying around all sorts of ideas, programs, traumas and conditions instilled since we were two-year-olds…and likely even earlier, right back into the womb.

most of them tend to reside down under the layers of our conscious processes. outward appearances unfortunately can show up as aches, heart/chest tightness, restlessness, anxiety and a whole host of other stuff that doesn’t always help us out along our journeys…until we take it upon ourselves to see them, and to heal them.

generally, we’re not in the practice of talking to or listening to our bodies. we train them, beat them up, feed them, rest them, and stress them incredibly forcefully.

generally, we’re not in the practice of observing a thought, feeling or reaction, and questioning its origin. we subdue them, drug them, fight them, shame or guilt them, or try to simply ignore them…and push through.

when it comes to succeeding in life, and whatever that may mean to you, it’s important to become aware of how you might be chopping off your own hands, feet, or other body parts. one idea in particular that showed up for me today, relates to self-sabotage.

this is a common thing for artists especially, i think. we can be subconsciously, yet deliberately holding ourselves back – and most often this manifests as money issues.

when it comes to the love and acceptance of our parents, problems start early, and can last a lifetime. ideas that may at the time seem parental and caring, are often seeds that sprout into enormous, twisting thorny bushes that reside in our hearts and minds, taking up space, taking up energy, taking up time and robbing us of confidence, creative juices, flow, joy and resilience.

a part of us can effect a program that keeps us “failing” at that which we love to be or do (say, being a musician, actor, writer, painter, etc.) so it proves those old folks to be right: life is hard; most artists are broke/single/divorced; you need a certificate/diploma and lots of training and schooling to be professional; you need a base (job) to support yourself or you won’t be able to buy food – then you can be creative; you will need financial assistance to get anywhere…and so on.

and the flipside of that coin? if we did succeed, we’ve proven they didn’t love us (or, didn’t approve of us, or of our choice to follow our passion/dream/calling). and that couldn’t be true, could it?

maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. maybe it was conscious, maybe it wasn’t. what matters is now you hold a key you didn’t have before, for a lock you didn’t even see before. the loop can be broken.

love your life.

© 2017 Trance Blackman

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Published in Journal Entries