Within us, a quiet war rages — a battle between the stories we’ve inherited and the truths waiting to be discovered. But just as life renews itself after a forest fire, healing emerges from the ashes of shame and self-doubt. In every place we feel broken lies a seed of resilience, ready to grow into something stronger and more authentic.
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I used to believe I would never be worthy of a truly worthy partner in life unless I “made something” of myself. Though I know where that belief came from, I’m still not entirely sure what it means. These philosophical weeds are something we all have in our gardens, aren’t they? What I do know is that this narrative isn’t just a story — it’s a spiritual and emotional prison, a self-imposed penance for an imagined crime. While it takes time for the scars of shame to fade, I’m grateful that awareness has sparked a slow but cumulative process of healing.
When we live by these egoistic, self-proclaimed mission statements, we lose sight of the bigger picture. Measures of success or worthiness are entirely subjective, endlessly ambiguous. We move our own goalposts repeatedly, striving toward an ideal that can never truly be met. This internal dissonance creates tremendous strain, manifesting as cycles of depression, apathy, indecisiveness, frustration, and anxiety. This pressure seeps into our daily lives, hidden beneath layers of responsibilities, obligations, and distractions. We avoid the pain unconsciously and wonder why the uneasiness persists. Sooner or later, we must confront the discontinuity and deception we’ve created within ourselves.
I am convinced that the jealous, the angry, the bitter, and the egotistical are the first to race to the top of mountains. A confident person enjoys the journey, the people they meet along the way, and sees life not as a competition. They reach the summit last because they know God isn’t at the top waiting for them. He is down below, helping his followers to understand that the view is glorious wherever you stand.
― Shannon Alder
We live in a culture that glorifies heroes, champions, and those who make great sacrifices. Yet, paradoxically, it also fixates on villains, narcissists, and the violently notorious. Ironically, we often turn on the very heroes we once admired, as envy and resentment bubble to the surface. This cultural polarization seeps into our subconscious, leaving fertile ground for the seeds of guilt, shame, and self-reproach to take root.
When we embark on the perilous journey back to our center, our intrinsic truth casts a blinding light on everything we’ve tried to conceal. Guilt and shame amplify our vulnerabilities, shaking us to our core. Yet this unraveling is necessary. It’s through this reckoning that we reconnect with the original source — the still, small voice buried beneath the layers of programming and conditioning imposed by our earthbound lives.
If we’re in a relationship during this period of spiritual revolution, the energy of transformation spares no one. This force operates outside the bounds of time and convenience. Sometimes, we’re fortunate to share this path with someone undergoing their own process of awakening. Though they may be just as terrified as we are, their knowing smile can be both wicked and reassuring. These blessed synchronicities are gifts to those brave enough to confront the flames. Two hearts aligned in this way intensify the fire, accelerating purification and transformation.
This journey may lead to a deeper, more meaningful partnership or the renewal of one. If so, the bond will exist on a higher vibration — more authentic, attuned, and pure than anything that could have existed before. Yet we must trust in the natural timing of life, knowing that our strongest desires do not always dictate our lived experiences.
Too often, when we look at fire, we see only destruction. To me, fire has always been a natural, unapologetic force of renewal — a recycling of energies, a structural reformation. In our clumsy attempts to control it, we forget that its purpose is transformation, not annihilation. In nature, after a forest fire passes, flora and fauna immediately respond, embracing the newness with an innate resolve and a knowing beyond words.
Life is neither static nor stagnant. It is forever done and undone, finished and unfinished. But the Light never fades.
All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
Ex tenebris, lux redit
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“The Dream” – a rough ol’ demo mix, but fitting…