Know Thy Exceptional Self

We’re quick to label what we don’t understand, in others and ourselves. But beneath the psychology, social conditioning, and declarations of who we think we are lies something far more complex. The challenge isn’t to become exceptional in the eyes of the world, but to recognize what’s exceptional within us without mistaking it for superiority.

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There are countless ways to pick ourselves apart psychologically. Labels can help us recognize patterns, but they can just as easily box us in, reducing complex human beings to black-and-white categories. I’m no expert, and while I strive for objectivity, I’d rather explore what lies beneath the surface than pretend a label tells the whole story.

Recognizing something about ourselves needn’t be crippling or become an excuse to suppress our potential or deny our truth. A trait or pattern is information, not a verdict. The meanings we attach to it are shaped by sociocultural constructs and the times we live in. It’s far too easy to write people off, and easier still to write ourselves off.

We are dynamic beings. Living consciously means examining and evolving our understanding of ourselves, integrating what we discover, and eventually letting go of aspects that have outlived their purpose.

Of course, character refinement and personal transformation aren’t linear. We can just as easily devolve, wearing traumas as medals and turning old wounds and emotional scars into endless storylines and plot points. In essence, we make it all up as we go, fish stories and all. We may even convince ourselves of our grandiosity and moral superiority to avoid the painful abyss of deferred healing.

In our fair Western world, we favor individuality over the collective. From childhood, we’re categorized, made to compete, graded, compared, rewarded, berated, trained, pushed, pulled, twisted, and conformed in ways both subtle and overt. Little wonder this divides and compartmentalizes aspects of our personalities, creating inner conflicts and contradictions as we erect flimsy outward barriers in an attempt to establish identity.

We build our identities around an assortment of “I am” statements, complete with supporting arguments and declarations. Yet we also feel compelled to differentiate ourselves without straying beyond the “safe zone” of acceptable thoughts and behaviors, at least within our clique, family, congregation, class, or political affiliations.

When we’re divided and polarized within, that division inevitably finds its reflection in society. It’s important to recognize when we’re being manipulated into this state, unconsciously, unwittingly, yet willingly divided and conquered. These age-old psychological and emotional games, a blend of overt and covert nastiness, repeatedly pit us against ourselves and our neighbors, brothers, and sisters.

The force is awakening, one presumes. I believe our evolving collective consciousness may help us see through these malevolent manipulations and deceptive duplicities. But the old narratives remain dominant and pervasive, and the chaos erupting within us can make them feel overwhelming and exhausting.

As we grow into our beautiful selves, more fully actualized and in phase with our heart resonance, natural acceptance develops, and violence and fear-based practices begin to lose their grip. This isn’t about passivity or submission, but an emboldened recognition and surrender grounded in a fundamental knowing of who we really are.

Labels can point to patterns worth examining, but they can never tell the whole story of who we are or who we might become. That’s the difference between exceptionalism, or self-importance, and knowing thy exceptional self. One rests on an illusion of superiority; the other requires vulnerability, courage, compassion, and love, along with the willingness to keep questioning ourselves and growing beyond the labels we’ve inherited.

Ad veritatem